So when you experience situations that make you react emotionally, you
what is inside of you. By stopping, reflecting and realizing
exactly what you feel and why, doors start to open. See it as a
sport, a competition with yourself! There may be a
situation at your working place, a conflict within the family or simply
uncomfortable thoughts and emotions that keep returning.
When we understand how situations triggering our emotions
are created by our own subconscious thoughts and feelings, we understand
that those situations show us the way to our inner landscape. We
can find situations that happened long ago because we carry the memory
in our cells, even if our conscious mind has forgotten. The work
is incredibly exciting... You won't need detective stories anymore!
First position - here and now
The first thing you need to do, is to
sit down and feel the emotion. Recognize what you feel and
put it in words: I realize that I feel... Realize everything
you feel in detail and why you feel that way. Say it in many
ways, and you will discover that some ways hit better than
others. Be honest with yourself and do this thoroughly with
everything you feel. You see, when you sit down to do this,
more emotions might show up. If they are painful, none of
them serve you to carry on with. They come to the surface
when you give yourself time, when you allow yourself to
As you acknowledge your emotions you
might start getting pictures from memories in your mind. You
also might start seeing how this emotional pattern that you
are unveiling is creating situations in your life, by seeing
a row of memories. We call them parallels.
Suddenly you might remember a painful
childhood memory that somehow resemble the situation you
experience now.. You see and know immediately that you have
come to the roots of these particular feelings, the oldest
wound that needs to be healed first of all. Go there by your
imagination, be present in the memory and be fully the one
you were then. Then the feelings come flowing as soon as you
start realizing. Your soul is actually there, because it is
the soul's nature.
If you don't remember any specific
situation, but still have those feelings, you can use a
pendulum for help. Bring your feelings from the present
along and ask your higher consciousness for help. Use your
intuition. Read more on the button, "Finding
Second position, accepting
that it happened, realizing what you feel.
Stay in the memory and admit all your
feelings by saying it out loud to yourself, if you can. That
works the best. (You need to be alone when releasing.)
The more thoroughly, the better. Are there things you need
to face, that you have not been willing to feel because it
was to painful? Be honest with yourself!
The basic is to say: I realize
that I feel.... because... about all the feelings that
come up in you. This is the sentence we recommend to use. It
is NOT enough, just to feel the feelings. You have to use
the word realize, admit or a similar words that works for
you for each of the emotion coming up. Remember to
find WHY you felt that way. Say things in different ways
until you hit the feeling fully and repeat the sentence
until the feeling fades. (If it is very painful so that you
cannot stop crying, please take a break and let your soul
work for you a while. You calm down and when you go back to
the situation, you may feel that the pain has let go.
Many of the feelings might be rather
complicated, so take your time. You will realize that the
feelings and the memory may be of a different kind than what
you thought at first. The sentences may get 2 and 3 parts,
for example: I realize that I feel a deep grief because I
feel unworthy. Or, I realize that I feel ashamed that I am
not able to take responsibility. All variations of feelings
are hidden inside of us! You need to find your combinations
and unlock the codes of your
Third position, comforting the
inner child (or adult)
When you feel that you have emptied
yourself, feeling calmer, you can move into this position:
Be the one you are today and see yourself at than time from
outside, as if you go into the picture. Sit down with
yourself. Take yourself on the lap or hold your arms around
you. Empty the space by removing the people involved and
create a place to sit down if there isn't one already. You
are the master of your life! This works for real. Be then
and there fully.
Say to the person you were then(child,
youngster or adult): I love you just the way you are. I love
you, even if you feel sad.... I love you even if you feel
that you aren't good enough, even if you want to die... and
(say the things you really felt).
Then take time to say all the loving words you can to your
soul. Your soul needs to hear it. Imagine you whisper in the
ear of the person you were then: "I am proud of you, it is
OK. Your nature is pure love and joy. You just had to try
out something else. You are made of love, my wonderful
....." use your own name!
If you haven't got in contact with
your inner child's emotions before, you do it now.
If you in this posision start crying, you need to go back to
the first position to admitting/realizing all the feelings
Very often, when we see ourselves from outside, our
conpassion is awakened and we really get to the depth of
ourselves. I warmly recommend to do this. This is what
really heals your wounds!
Fourth position, forgiveness
When you feel that you have faced all
the feelings and you feel calmer, there might still be a
feeling of unease...? You always need to forgive or/and ask
In most cases, the very first you need is to forgive
yourself. Most cultures didn't teach us to take care of
ourselves. Feel and think through. Be in the memory whilst
doing all the forgiving. At the same time, bring in your
mature you, reasonable you. This is necessary.
Bring in the persons in your story one
by one and say out loud what you feel, without blaming. (If
you blame, you need to go back to accept your need to blame
and forgive yourself. Is there still guilt in you that make
you do that?) Tell them that you forgive them because you
see that they carry their own baggage from their own
childhood and that you understand that their wounds made
them do what they did.
People I have met might tell
me that they have forgiven their parents for what
they felt they did to them, but when it comes to the
certain situations, they see that the anger or
bitterness towards their parents is still there. It
needs to be faced.
Some might have a perceptions
of their parents that they are perfect so they deny
the feelings from their childhood. This is not a
matter of accusing, dear friends, it is a matter of
forgiving! Nobody is "perfect"! We don't need to be
perfect! Our parents don't need to ne perfect. We
need to allow each other as well as ourselves to be
loved, even if we are not perfect.