A part of our soul is like the child we were when we grew up. It is the part of you that you actually were then. A child needs to develop basic qualities before it starts learning skills and adult qualities. We develop our souls as we grow and develop.

An example from my diary about an irrational pattern, created at the age of six. 

 “That evening I felt so faint-hearted.  I felt like wanting to give up.  Earlier that day my guide had come to me and reminded me to be proud of who I am.  During the day I had taken the message into my mind and heart repeated affirmations about being proud of myself.  During the night, still sad, I woke up, couldn’t sleep… didn’t manage to turn my thoughts to positive.   When I woke up that morning I was still very sad.  I understood that this had to be caused by a deep wound in the past.  I asked for help using the pendulum. 

Well, I went into the emotions when it happened.  I suddenly remembered how proud I was!  I remembered how happy and eager I was and how I enjoyed it… until the disaster.  I failed!  It was all my fault! It felt like a total disaster. There was nobody to comfort me, only one who wanted to punish me.  I remember, I did not dare to tell my parents.

 Now I understood why I had become in this bad mood and why I had lost all my guts that day.  I had affirmed for myself the whole day that "I am proud of the one I am…"  In that memory I felt that my pride of being good led to disaster and punishment…"

This is what I call a gordian knot.  A good positive feeling and loving intention ended up in a painful experience which created a painful pattern that subconsciously states:  "This is the way it is!"  Such Gordian knots are irrational and a real challenge to see unless you understand the nature of the soul.

Our soul doesn't have the ability to think rationally when it comes to gordian knots. Therefore the pain we experiences becomes a rule that makes us repeat exactly the pain we feel at a subconscious level.. as if it is the truth... until it is released.

I needed to go back to the feelings at the moment when it happened. In this case the pattern I created was like this: "When I am proud and happy to help, I make a mistake and people get angry at me and want to punish me". 
Later in my life, this pattern (the rule in my subconscious) made me create a failure and subconsciously expect that people would get angry and punish me when I was proud of myself and happy to help.
I realized several things that had happened in my life that had shown me this pattern. Many pictures from my life popped up along the way.  

Remember! When admitting the feelings loud to ourselves, it is not the truth! It is the feeling about a painful situation that needs to be looked closer at to make us able to release and let go of the pain.
As this was a gordian knot, I used the realizing key about the situation in this way, including both positive and negative things in the same sentences:

"I realize that I feel that I make mistakes when I am proud of being good.
I realize that I feel that I will be punished when I am proud of being ‘one of the gang’.
I realize that I feel that when I am eager and proud, something awful happens.
I realize that I feel, that when I am proud to be the one I am, I do a mistake and deserve punishment.
I realize that I feel that I deserve punishment when I do my best.
I realize that I am afraid that the boy is going to beat me.

"Still, I wasn’t through.  When I started the second key about forgiveness, the pain wallowed through me again and I decided to use

The book about this method is a manual for everybody who wants to work on their own

The inner child technique.  In my imagination, I went out of myself as a child and then approached the little me as the adult person I am now.  I sat down to talk to little 'Inger'.  She was still terrified!

I told her that this was an accident that could happen to anybody.  I told her I had seen how good she was to throw the wooden sticks.  I explained everything for her.  I told her it was nice that she is proud about herself. She argued against me.  She sobbed and was convinced that she deserved nothing but punishment!  I didn’t give up, but said to her:  "I love you just the way you are.  It doesn’t matter that the window is broken.  I love you even if you feel that you get punished because you are proud of being good…" at last I got her confident and joyful so that I could take her on my lap and hold my arms around her.  At last she wanted to live in my heart for ever."  

 We need to try out many sentences to hit the feelings.  What is very important, to be able to release gordian knots, is to make sentences that include both the loving intention and the negative outcome... We need to empty ourselves of the grief and anger...Then the irrational pattern dissolves! Do this very thoroughly. Those sentences that feel right, we need to repeat until the painful feelings fade… This is the kind of patterns that create angst - irrational fear.

Releasing the inner child, we go into the picture as our adult self today. Approach the child in the situation and remove all the people who were present. Be there in the present. Sit down with him/her and ask if she wants to sit on your lap. You need to take plenty of time for this. And you really need to take your inner child seriously. The situation is real for your soul! Tell him/her first of all that you love him/her, exactly the way they are. Tell him/her that you love them even if they feel... all the feelings you just realized you had - and even if they feel that they don't deserve love. Use all the love you have in your heart and all ways of comfort. (You can hold your arms around a big cushion and pretend it is you when you were small, it helps your imagination.)

Then, when the child has calmed down, you need to take a look at forgiveness...
Be the child again and feel what and who you need to forgive... First of all your self and your own feelings that is not love and joy! If it is difficult to forgive those who caused the pain, go to the higher perspective and see that those who hurt you had their baggage of pain making them do what they did. See them in front of you and tell them from your heart that you forgive them!
Take your time and cry all the tears you need to cry. Tell them your pain, if you need. If you hit upon even more pain or aggression, go back to the realizing situation again and repeat until you have emptied yourself. Know that you do a great favour to yourself first of all, lifting off this burden.

This really works. Now, when you feel the child on your lap again, you will feel how he/she is able to relax and feel love.

If you at any time are so overwhelmed by grief that you cannot stop crying, take a break. Have something to eat or drink. Take a break away from the situation. The break helps your soul to calm. When you continue after half an hour, you will feel that the soul have understood and have let go so that you can move on.

Now you ask your inner child if she wants to live in your heart. If you are through, they says yes! Then you and your inner child create a room in your heart. The room is just the way the child wants it to be. Spend time for this also! When the child has jumped from your lap (in your imagination) and started to enjoy being in the imaginary room, you can ask him/her: Can I go on now? If you are through, they will say that it is OK and you will feel that it is really OK. Be true to yourself. Tell them that you can come to visit her/him whenever they wishes.

Now you are back to your adult self. You lie still for a while and feel the love for yourself. Be love. Take a look back at the situation that you have worked through. Is there any kind of feelings still hurting? If you have worked thoroughly, there isn't. Be proud of yourself!

You are through!

Inger Susaeg, Norway